Not Tonight Darling [DVD]

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In the 1970s the UK pioneered the genre of the Unsexy Sex Film which, despite being full of attractive women taking their clothes off, would struggle to arouse a priapic teenager (the previous year's Permissive is another example). Thanks to the wonderful Talking Pictures TV channel we can now get to see such lost "gems" as Not Tonight Darling in all their beige seventies glory. Attractive London housewife Karen Williams (the voluptuous Luan Peters) is frustrated and bored with her frigid and pompous work-obsessed solicitor husband, John (Jason Twelvetrees) and falls prey to the voyeuristic fantasies of a sleazy shop assistant. With money running out, tempers shortening, writers removing their name from the script and all of the normal problems of post-production, it is not surprising that all that came out was a turkey. With money running out, tempers shortening, writers removing their name from the script and all of the normal problems of post-production, it is not surprising that all that came out was a turkey.”

Thunderclap Newman come on -- and don't (repeat don't) perform their only hit "Something in the Air."a) If you ever wondered what a seedy Soho strip club looked like in the daytime, this is for you. And what about that compere? ("Okay, remove your raincoats") Not Tonight Darling' was to be the first time that hard core material was sent to Humphries Labs for processing since the censorship laws had changed. Eddie inadvertently only adds to her problems by bringing her to the attention of Alex (Vincent Ball), a far more predatory male who bets Eddie five pounds that he can bed Karen within three days. With five whole pounds at sake it is not long before Alex is laying on the charm. When Karen asks him how many times he has seen her, he replies “every night in my dreams”. Alex also wows her with his music industry credentials, taking her to see the band Thunderclap Newman rehearse at the trendy La Valbonne nightclub.

This 1970s erotic comic thriller stars Luan Peters and infamous sex symbol Fiona Richmond. Beautiful and intelligent housewife Karen is tired of her empty, suburban lifestyle and her work-obsessed husband, until fast-talking salesman Alex enters her life. London in the early 70's was in a strange hangover of a place -- vice had been clamped down upon and the new thing were films that were sold as sexy, but were actually nothing of the kind (but hey, they have your money by then). Today this is less sexy than post watershed TV! That he succeeds hardly seems credible as once again this is a one- dimensional character and there's little exploration of why Karen would be drawn to such a sleazy character, although she does laugh at his lame jokes as though he's the world's greatest wit. He drags her off to watch Thunderclap Newman rehearse at a nearby venue, giving the film an unusual dose of historical cultural interest, and then takes her into what looks like a hotel room (but apparently isn't) and talks her into getting down to business whilst traffic noisily rumbles past outside. The fact that they close the curtains somehow fails to prevent a photographer from a neighbouring building capturing the moment for posterity. And so, the drama unfolds...The original screenplay, working title 'The Loving Game', was an intelligently written 3 hander about a, impossible to live with love affair. Alright, it was not exactly 'Casablanca' but not bad for its genre. The first attempt at filming proved the old adage that 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak'. The poor lads just couldn't keep it up long enough to commit to film.

This is not meant to denigrate the lady in question or her acting talent but applies accurately to this production. Everything seems to revolve around Karen going to do her shopping in the local grocery store, where one of the assistants (unbeknown to her) has been spying on her through her bathroom window at night – not very successfully, as he seems to be incapable of keeping his binoculars in focus. One day the assistant is ogling Karen in the shop with the visiting sales rep Alex, and the latter wagers that he can get Karen into bed within three days. In 1972, she starred in the unbroadcast television series Go Girl, as a go-go dancer caught up in thriller situations. The pilot episode, possibly the only one made, was released twice on UK video in the early 1980s, first as Give Me a Ring Sometime (the pilot episode title) and later as Passport to Murder. [1] Asylum Erotica/Cold Blooded Beast (1971) In the Italian countryside, a clinic for mentally unstable but wealthy women is terrorised by a maniac with a fetish…

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e) The, shall we say, 'incredible' dream scene in the grocer's shop. Hard to believe and more than a touch of The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band about it (if you recall Magical Mystery Tour). So that is Not Tonight Darling then …a film in which the lead actor sounds like a native American but isn’t, a film in which pretty much everyone takes their clothes off apart from the cast member who was a famous nude model, and a film which gives you the chance to hear two Thunderclap Newman songs that aren’t ‘Something in the Air’. All this lies in store for you on late night telly, unless you take the film’s titular advice of… ‘Not Tonight Darling’. The film says nothing, the acting is dire, the direction non- existent, the storyline meanders, wanders, then concludes by saying "make of this what you will. I give up" Not Tonight Darling was the second of two films directed by Anthony B. Sloman, the first being the 1970 sex and crime hybrid ‘Sweet and Sexy’. Not Tonight Darling was however the first of the two films to be publically shown, with delays to the release of Sweet and Sexy (for reasons that all the good sense in the world suggests I shouldn’t go into) meaning that film wouldn’t be seen until 1972. Sloman is only known for these two films as a director, and these days tends to be better known as a film critic and historian, he has also been kept busy for a few decades as a sound and dialogue editor, some of his credits in those capacities which may be of interest to cult film fans include The Vault of Horror, The Company of Wolves and Dario Argento’s Tenebrae. Luan’s husband is played by an actor called Jason Twelvetrees whose name caused considerable amusement in the Gavcrimson household, with one of the people I was watching this with wondering if, on account of his name, the actor in question might turn out to be native American. Whereas of course when you see Jason Twelvetrees in the film, he may be the least native American looking actor imaginable, with Twelvetrees being a weedy, well-educated sounding pail face…whose character epitomises the sexually repressed, stiff upper lipped city businessman.